Withdraw

I guess there are withdraws from several angles right now, physical, mental, emotional. The most physically exhausting one is caffeine. The past two days I've been drinking yerba mate, a type of S. American tea, instead of coffee, and I just feel dead. I didn't by a whole lot, but I do have some other tea lying around and I wonder if I should try to continue and get over this caffeine hump. I DO NOTNOTNOTNOTNOT want to give up coffee; it's so darn good. But maybe I'll switch to decaf or the half-caf/half-decaf.

And am I going through withdraw from meat/dairy? Hard to tell. I don't feel out of whack from that. I'd been doing fine for a couple of weeks; till now but I'm sure that's from the caffeine. Eating more legumes has been.... ergh.... well.... yeah.... but I also know running when it's warmer does a number on the GI tract.

I'm still finalizing my training plan, but I see it coming together. This weekend I laid out a general plan, and Monday I started on a build week (meaning 10-11 mile weekdays runs). I also plan to incorporate more high-intensity training, of varying sorts, and see how it improves my races. Since I have a longer training cycle, my plan is to incorporate "quality" weeks after each two weeks of "build" before a week of "recovery." I call this barbeque-r (BBQ-R; get it?!). Essentially the quality week will have a long run; probably less than the build weeks, longer than the recovery weeks, but having a specific focus for producing better mental focus and physical capacity over longer distances.

I can already tell the difference from increasing my mileage. Before I could get wiped out by a run but be recovered by the next morning. Now, I may only sort of get wiped out and I'm dead. It reminds me that I really need to focus on QUALITY recovery; and I'm really trying to maximize that nutritionally.

I'm trying to put more into my work. I don't think I'm doing what I want to be doing, but that doens't mean I should troll along. I should still try to be "fuckin' awesome." Nevertheless, I have a great motivator that give me the drive to start NOW to pursue the things I want. There are still some unknowns, but I that if I start moving, things will build up steam.

Soundtrack:
"The Precipice" by The Classic Crime
"Dive" by Disciple

Training

I'm reviewing my training plans from last year, comparing my fitness to this year, and trying to make decisions about my training.

In 2012, I started training for Mountain Masochist in mid-July for approximately 15-16 weeks. I was coming off a stress reaction where I didn't really run from the end of May until probably early July, approximately 6 weeks (I'll double check when I get to look at my running log; right now I'm just making conjectures from my calendar. I may have run before mid-July, but I hadn't written down a training plan.). That was after running, essentially 4 marathons/50k+s (if you count the January Carrboro Fat Ass 50k, February Black Mountain Marathon, March Terrapin 50k, and April Promise Land 50k). So I had a relatively good base, that got slightly eroded by the time off, then about 4 months to build back up my training. During that time, I essentially followed a build, build, recover cycle. Weekend long runs looked like: 15, 20, 15, 20, 25, 15, 25, 30.... Once a week I did 10.+ (more than 10, but not 11) mile run with time interval fartleks. 

Where am I this year? I was following a similar build up, except I reached the 30/35 mile long run earlier. So instead of doing 4 30/35 milers, I had 6 or 7. One of those was the Holiday Lake 50k. I did not do any intentional speed work. That all culminated in the Umstead 100 miler in April. After 4 weeks, I started back slowly, but regularly. This weekend will be 7 weeks, with about 2 weeks at about recovery week mileage. If I started next week, I would probably be near 23 weeks from Mountain Masochist.

I'm been trying to read of a variety of ways to improve. Is it pushing myself physically? I think for both Masochist last year, and even Umstead, I ran hard, but still very within myself physically. Maybe it's just retrospective misguided analysis, but I don't know if I really pushed myself. I never felt like I was at the point where I had NO option but to run with my head. I never felt completely EMPTY physically. In some ways, I guess that's good; I may have a very strong body that way. But I also feel that it means I didn't push myself hard enough; I didn't challenge it. To quote Yiannis Kouros, I want to go BEYOND. I just don't know if this is a factor of distance or of speed.

I bought a washer and dryer yesterday. The washer is heavy as hell. And I had a heck of a time getting them in place and set up. My upper body feels so beat up today.

Soundtrack:
"ISHFWILF" -Distrubed cover of U2's I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
"Broken Mess" - The Classic Crime

Future Freak-out

I've freaking out a little bit about my future. It's not that my work environment is terrible. It's just that I realize the type/level of work I'm doing is not for me. I'm not a high-level decision maker, where you need to predict long-range resources and budgeting. I'm a day-to-day doer, where the decisions are made based on the immediately available and perceivable data. It's not the best analogy, but I feel like someone who works best making decisions within specific confines. With free range, there's a cyclic problem: how many programs to offer depends on how much staff you have; how much staff depends on how many programs you offer. I would rather just be given a set of parameters within which to work, and then engineering the best solution. I don't what this would mean in terms of the level of MENTAL engagement. That is, even though I want to be stimulated, sometimes I feel like I do better in physically-demanding vs. mentally-demanding environment.

Furthermore, I'm becoming more aware of the type of work I like to do. When it comes to "day-to-day," in aquatics that's more of the operations of pool maintenance, lifeguard safety, etc. However, after leading some of our swim practices, I realized how much I enjoy coaching. I kind of like teaching, but I like the idea of coaching. In sports, you realize it is a never-ending process of improvement; you're never perfect; you're always looking for how to improve. I consider the LG courses I've taught. I loved teaching, but I hated at the end having to pass or fail a student. If they didn't get it right, I would rather have just continued to work with them until they DID get it. I don't know if a sports (such as swimming/running) is exactly what I'm after, where performance is the goal. I've recently learned about health coaches, and I'd like to investigate what it means to work with people to improve their lives with practical solutions. I suppose my concerns are to how to approach it in a manner to make a meaningful career. And I also feel like I've spent so much time to get to where I am in aquatics; should I really be reconsidering everything so soon?

Bright side: This morning was again a wicked awesome trail run. I was thoroughly without a plan. There was mud and inevitable puddle runs. I also was about a foot ahead of losing my head to a 2-3 inch thick branch.I heard it coming down and pick up my pace; it was BARELY enough to get by. Overall the run was great because you can get quite a thrill bombing downhill and tearing it uphill while nitpicking over the single track.

Iron Man 3 was awesome.

Soundtrack for the post:
"Big Casino" by Jimmy Eat World
"Wonderful" by Everclear

Slow Thursday

This week started out moving pretty quickly, but slowed down. I was hoping the universe was as anxious as I was for the weekend, but I guess it was just messing with me. Never fear, it will have to come eventually. I'm doing my best to make sure my staff is set up to get going without being, so as to negate needing to come in.

More yoga this morning. I really am enjoying it. I'm not sure if the meditative effect is being fully realized; however, I am enjoying the more focused stretching and strengthening. It's not very different from some static stretching techniques. Except with an instructor, there are details instructions on how to get the most out of each position, so as to maximize the stretch or modify it to your abilities. I've gone the past two Thursdays to a Bikram (look at me using fancy words) yoga studio. The instructor is great providing cues for proper alignment, and those cues are great at ensuring great posture. One thing I'm not sure of: am I too tall, or just terrible at some of the techniques? Savansana is a pose where you essentially just lie on your back, and either me head, feet, or both always hang off the end. OK or not? I also would like one of those fancy towels, so I don't slip'n slide in my own sweat. Gross.

I'm hoping to get to a farmer's market this weekend. I'm craving some summer squash, eggplant, fresh fruit.

Sound track for the moment:
"Everything" by The Classic Crime
"Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon

 The songs move and inspire me for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it's the specific lyrics that seem to espouse my thoughts, or describe the events going on in my life. Sometimes it's the tone and feel of the MUSIC and beat that strike a chord. Which "feature" dominants? Eh... depends.

It's Tuesday

The wedding this weekend was great. I had an amazing time. Had I mentioned that I was an usher? Myself and my friend Dave were ushers, though the other groomsmen performed similar duties. Ergo, Dave and I had a pretty easy going job, but we got to attend the rehearsal dinner. It was a neat scenario; Steve (the groom) went to my high school, though I didn't meet him until college, where we rowed together on the crew team. Therefore I knew the other groomsmen even though they themselves were from different "circles." Trivia fact: as the groom's party we were: Steve, David, Donny, David, Greg, Dave, and Duran. The ceremony and reception were good; I think the "big" things were so-so, but punctuated by truly thoughtful little touches, such as the scripture reading, and the best man's toast.

My running is returning quiet well. My knee still bothers me some, but I think it's more of a stiffness in the morning. My first mile may ache a bit, but usually after that I'm solid. So, it either warms up and loosens up, or maybe the endorphins get flowing and mask it all. Either way, it feels great. This morning I again went out to Carolina North Forest. As I begin to workout more frequently, I really start to settle into a routine; this season I'm again molding Tuesdays into a trail-work day. I again went sans distance; I don't know when/if I'll bite the bullet for a GPS watch. It works to not have that strict measurement for ONE workout, but I don't know how that will go for two or three times a week.

I think this week I may be biting the bullet for a smartphone. I'm just not excited about that $30/month data charge. But the battery life on my current, basic phone is waning, and I'll be looking for a new one soon.

Soundtrack for the post:
A few select songs from The Fold. Can be heard here
"Beside You Now"
"Faster Still"

Wedding Weekend

This weekend I'm going to be an usher in a wedding. Events include the bachelor party last night, rehearsal dinner tonight, and wedding tomorrow.

The bachelor party was fun, I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a while and I always enjoying catching up with old friends. So, I was able to 'create' a vegan option from the menu: quesadilla without queso: just beans. Sounded great except it was pretty skimpy and I was ravenous when I got home. So I'm not sure if I can consider this a win or a loss.

I'll be spending the weekend at my parents house since I'm not a fan of making back-and-forth trips. It'll be my first chance to run again at Umstead tomorrow morning, and then I will hopefully get to see my Sunday running group on Sunday. I can't forget Mother's Day either; Mom and Dad are coming over to see my new apartment and then we'll go get some dinner.

Took yesterday off from running and attended a hot yoga class. A very high class studio, and overall pretty good. It was a little pricey ($20/class), but then again, the classes all run 1.5 hours. A little sorer, but then again, I had four solid days of running and swimming this time.

My future race schedule still isn't set, but I'm seeing some key races/ideal scenarios. I've gone and registered for the Mountain Masochist Trail Run in November. This was the same one I ran last year, and I loved it; that will probably be my only BIG race in the fall. For next year, I haven't found a particular race, but I'd like to run something more than 50, but not quite 100 miles, so probably a 100k. There just aren't that many around the spring time frame. Then in June, there is a 3 day stage race in Chattanooga; 60 miles over three days as 18, 22, and 20 miles. It's a different style that I'm intrigued to run. To top off the year, I'd do a 100 in the fall, most likely the Grindstone 100. I'm leaning away from the Beast Series, mainly because I don't think I can race that much. I don't have the self-control to slow down DURING the races and then prolong the recovery between events. Of course, being May 2013, I shouldn't think TOO hard on October 2014. If it was settled, what else would I blog about?

Soundtrack for the post, on weddings:
"Down" by Jay Sean: Makes me think of The Office with Jim and Pam's wedding
"Forever" by Chris Brown: The actual song from Jim and Pam's wedding
And the songs by Train and Bruno Mars

TrailsTrailsTrails

I've had a phenomenal two days of running. Yesterday was nearly completely pain free. I shouldn't lie and say it was totally ok. But the discomfort was NOTHING compared to what it has been. I also was going at a decent clip and it felt good to jack that heart rate up.

Today was as good if not better. I took my first trip out to Carolina North Forest. This is land situated next to a small local airport and a group of schools. There's some main corridors consisting of loose gravel, some washed-out creek beds with lots of large baby-head [sized] rocks. Throughout are a bagillion single tracks that zig and zag; branch off and branch back in; double back and dead end. It's quite a nightmare for the directionally challenged. Also for the data-minded, without a GPS, you're generally SOL; I haven't found a map with measured mileages. Anyways, I went out and just wandered. And it was great. I turned when I felt liked it, and I think I did OK about knowing where I was. I had my watch running, but I mean, there was no way I could know how far, and therefore how hard. I was definitely pumping the heart, but it was just fun.

Of course, this evening I went swimming. I was starving before I went swimming... afterwards I was ravenous... and still had conduct a swim team meeting. A little rough.

So goes the veganism. After a first try, I knew nutritional yeast was going to be an acquired taste. Which was true. It's growing on me. For the most part, I'm not finding it too difficult to make the changes. I've been experimenting with different nut butters (most homemade!); which is easy when I eat it by spoonfuls. Almond butter is good, cashew butter is good, but walnut butter was a little iffy. What should I try next? Pecan? Pistachio? Hazelnut? Other?

This weekend will be a challenge. I'm an usher in a wedding, and I think at the time I selected the fish. And then for the bachelor party, the best man is getting us together at Wild Wing Cafe. Investigation online wasn't very encouraging. Suggestions?

Soundtrack for the post:
"Chicken Fried" -Zac Brown Band (I know, bad for a vegan, but good beyond that)
"Hungry Like the Wolf" - Me Me (aka Duran Duran)

Happy Cinco de Mayo

It's Sunday. It's overcast, with rain on the way. Our pool just opened, and I'm on standby for members to come in. It could possibly be a long and dreary day. Nonetheless, I feel amazing because I had such an awesome Friday and Saturday. It's hard exactly to explain over the Internet. I realize that the purpose of a blog is to bare the soul over the web to whatever family member or random stranger chooses to read it. However, there's somethings that are best done first in person before rather than "broadcast."

I'm still taking my time getting back to running. Saturday I had a good brief walk/hike, followed by just a sliver of running. That evening I took my second yoga class, my first HOT yoga class. When I first heard of it, I thought of a euphemism. Turns out to be very literal. The room was 105°F and 50% humidity. I thought the general yoga was less intimidating and less challenging than my first class. And the heat itself wasn't too bothersome; I do think it did a lot to increase my blood flow. Just by the end of class you're POURING sweat that is gross and always ends up stinging the eyes. I felt worn afterwards, but as a masochistic ultrarunner, I loved that feeling. It makes you feel flushed out and clean.

So far, no trouble with this vegan experiment. But I'm trying to figure out how to set up my eating. My first impression is to just tweek my current diet, meaning as few changes as possible. However, in some aspects the overall principles of a vegetable-based diet diet versus a grain- and meat-based diet may make it hard to instigate simple changes. For the moment, I leaving this to-be-determined.

EDIT: I'm also trying to determine my racing schedule for future. I think I'm going to run Mountain Masochist again this year. I'm not sure about the whole Beast Series, but I would run the Grindstone 100 next fall. That kind of leaves the spring open/unclear. I'd like to do something around 100K; something over 50 but not quite 100. Also TBD.

I had some questions about posting comments. I believe it's open to everyone. There's no link saying "comment HERE." Just hover over and click the "no comment"/"# comments" at the bottom of a post, which is the link to open a comment dialogue box.

Soundtrack for the weekend, about being alive:

"Alive" by P.O.D.

"Coming Back to Life" by Blindside

Cliff Edge

I think I mentioned that I am experimenting with changes in my diet, through vegetarianism and even toward veganism. I'm still calling this an experiment (probably so if I don't follow through, I don't feel like a shmuck). I haven't exactly gone cold turkey. Not because of "easing" myself into it, but because of practicality: I don't want to just throw away the food I'm still working through. But now I'm almost through those stores: the instant oatmeal packets are gone; cottage cheese and yogurt is almost run out; some pancake mix is wearing down. So I feel like I'm on the cliff edge where I'll finally take a plunge.

I feel mentally prepared: I've told myself that I'm not giving up animal products. Or that I'm DENYing my body what it wants. I feel confident that I'm actually rewarding my body with what's best for it, instead of trash that just seems to be good. Nonetheless, I know there will be a learning curve to changing my eating and preparation habits. But I think it will be a great chance to learn new flavors cuisines that I haven't tried before. Should be fun.

I was prompted to watch a movie recently about a modern Greek legend, Yiannis Kouros, called "Forever Running." I liked how he describe his events (pretty much anything 100K ++, into the multiple days) as "exceeding." I also liked his description of running for hours on end (and I'm paraphrasing), "You think, I have 30 hours, 24 hours, 12 hours, 6 hours. But even the last hour feels like a burden." And I totally get this. When I mentally tackled the hundred, even the last mile never felt like a freebie.