Sorry about the infrequent updates. BIG decision made recently. Here is a copy-and-paste of an email to my family:
Hey guys. This is something I've told to Mom and Dad, and David.
Rather than go through the whole, complete explanation several more
times, I'm just settling for an email.
I've decided to take a leave of absence from graduate school. There
are several reasons surrounding and leading up to this decision.
Most importantly, I have never been sure about what career field I
want to pursue. Chemistry seemed right because it was an area in which
I've excelled and thought I could offer a substantial contribution. At
Hopkins I went further into biochemistry because I thought it was the
best way to sort of work at the periphery of biomedical sciences
(pharmaceuticals, gene therapies, etc.). However, I've been at a lost
at specifically where I fit. That problem, I think, was foreshadowed
somewhat by my initial troubles picking a research group. My
predicament is a little more general though; I'm not sure if chemistry
is the right field for me. Or if it is, I'm not sure if research is
right for me.
I can see myself doing any number of things. In chemistry, I could do
research; at a basic technician level or get an advanced degree and
perform in a supervisory role. I could work for the Patent Office,
which would expose me to several different disciplines of chemistry
and science as a whole. There are other government jobs for chemist in
forensics, homeland security, defense agencies (or their contractors).
I know I wish people where as excited about science as I am, so
teaching has also crossed my mind. There are career fields outside of
chemistry; remember when I thought I wanted to go to OCS for the Coast
Guard? I think that was a interest in emergency response/management.
So I could see myself working for emergency management institutions
like FEMA, Corps of Engineers, Homeland Security/ Coast Guard, the Red
Cross, etc..
But how does this come back to my decision. Well, while in the lab, I
am often in the lab by 9:00am and don't leave until usually 8:00pm.
That's weekdays and frequently I am in the lab for 5 or 6 hours
between Saturday and Sunday as well. I'm not meaning to complain about
the work hours or the work load. It's totally worth it if it means
getting a Ph.D. However, without knowing what I want to do, how do I
know that I need a Ph.D.? Sure it's a Ph.D.; a BIG accomplishment. But
is it really that valuable if it isn't really a qualification for
whatever my career will be? I questioned how rationale it was to spend
50-60+ hours/week pursuing a goal that wasn't really the best goal for
me.
Over the next couple of days I will be cleaning up my work space in
the lab. I still have a little over a month left on my lease. So, I
will be staying in Baltimore for a little while and begin searching
for employment (I've been touching base with the university career
center). I'd like to stay put but if money forces me back home, then
that may be my only option. A lot of the areas I'll be looking at I
mentioned above. With the oil spill, there is the prospect of some
temporary active duty opportunities with the Coast Guard. In the long
term, I'm not sure whether I want to try to stay in the Mid-Atlantic
region, go somewhere new, or even return to NC. I'm also not
completely closing the door on additional or advanced education; more
may be necessary to give me the best chance of success in whatever
career turns out to be for me.
Sorry for the lengthy email and sudden decision.
Duran
