Everything Has Changed

I ran 20 miles this week. Only three days. The last day I ran was Thursday. I won't run again until Tuesday.

This is freaking me out, and it's not freaking me out. The thing is, I've been "wanting" to scale back my mileage. And I've always appreciated that my volume of running sacrifices a lot of strength in Crossfit. Nonetheless, actually putting that into practice has been very difficult. I still have a subconscious desire and belief that more is better. But this past weekend, I drove up to Michigan with my brother for his start of medical school. Based on logistics, we pretty much needed to leave by 4am on Friday morning. I was totally trying to plan out how early I could wake up and get a run in on Friday. Or I totally could've packed running clothes and I could've run Saturday morning. Then we all were going to go drop-in at Crossfit gym up there. But, I went against my raging instincts and decided, "no, we're just gonna let it go. Let it be rest, recovery, and rebuilding."

I can't say yet that it feels great. Or that I feel rested, despite being stuck in a vehicle for 13 hours on Friday, and then flying back all this morning. Years and years of day after day of miles and miles just makes me feel bloated, heavy, sluggish. But I'll admit, it may just be relative. And it doesn't mean I'm slower. But it's just weird to wrap my head around it.

David is now gone. He's all the way up in Michigan. It's odd. It's another phase in life for him; for both of us. I'm bittersweet about it. But the weekend was fun, and I am so excited for him.