Moving Weekend

Long run. Stomach troubles. Moving day. Job hunt.


Good, solid week last week. Nothing crazy going on with training. Cross-training-wise, I haven't been swimming. Since our pool closed, I no longer have a free place to swim. Since most of my workouts are only 2000 yds, about 30-40 minutes, I didn't feel justified to pay, even just the $4 for the city pool. And I just didn't want another logistical planning session. I would've gone for my Thursday swim, but from past experience I know that it would've sucked. Only doing an sport once a week does NOT help maintain any ability/endurance. Even though it cost more, I went over to the YMCA and used their erg (rowing machine) and got a good set in. My hamstrings were tight and my back ached from the full body work out, but for the most part, no harm done. I'm just trying to make sure to avoid running on my day off from running.

I did deal a little bit with some GI issues. I couldn't really say what the problem was. I mean, I'm pretty sure I've "readjusted" to a meat-eating diet. Last weekend though I bought some buffalo burgers from Trader Joe's. A whole one Sunday, and parts for lunch early in the week, that was my first suspect; I tossed the leftovers. Could really tell if I felt better or worse; just some weird cramps and rumbling. Then I decided to stop taking my iron supplement. I don't know if I still need it anyways, and I could reason that maybe with the red meat, I overloaded on iron. I've been feeling better; maybe because of getting the iron under control; maybe just some bad food finally cleared out.

I'm moving this weekend. I recently told someone that I was content with the fact that I wouldn't likely every have a permanent place. Well fuck that. I became sharply aware how much not having a place to call MINE is. And realized how much useless, meaningless crap I have. All it does it take up space, gets aged and dirty. It really kind of makes my stomach turn (physical issues aside). I don't know, maybe it's reflective that I still don't know where I'll be working or what I'll be doing in a few weeks. And that almost as soon as I go to my parents, I'm gonna want to get out. I really don't know if I could tolerate being at home for more than two weeks. It's nothing against my parents. Really, it's NOT. I just feel this huge burden that I haven't moved forward at all, and that I'll just be sliding backwards, with all my pointless, crappy possessions growing moldy in a garage because I haven't manned up to get a real job.

I'm in a muddled area of my training plan, with several weeks that I never really filled in. I only did one build week. This week is recovery again, next week probably a quality week, then another recovery, and then start tapering. It's 5? 6? weeks until Mountain Masochist.

Soundtrack:
"Gone Gone Gone" Phillip Phillips
"ISHFWILF" Disturbed

Climb the highest mountain and dive off...

Glute pain. Puppy love. Apartment search. Scam. Race schedule anxiety. Spinning.

The Tabata class I've been taking can kick my butt. And of course, I don't adjust my running routine, so I've been paying for it. Even on top of that, I've missed out on my Thursday recovery swims and have substituted with short EASY runs... which I know don't help. When I've done this in the past it usually leads to foot problems. Last week, I had a great 10 (ish) mile Wednesday tempo run. Then in our tabata class we did TONS of leg exercises including explosive lunge jumps. Without taking the Thursday to recover, my right glutes were DYING most of the weekend. It was one of those things were I think I was able to maintain my form, but I just felt zapped of energy. Most likely my quads and other muscles were doing a lot of extra work to compensate for the defunct power in the quads.

The puppy love has passed. Well, sort of. There is no sense of imperative to get one ASAP. I still want one, but I know it could take some time. I also decided to go ahead and offer to help out my sister, who may need a taker for her two pests Manchester Terriers. That may be coming in December.

I was going to write about my apartment search (though it may have been meaningless. More on that in a moment). Looked at a couple places in the Cary area, when I was sure I would want the job at the Cary Y. My goal is to be within 5 miles of my workplace... when you have to be 'on call,' it's easier to get up and go when you're nearby.

Though I did almost get scammed. There was a listing for a home that had a great rent, so I emailed the lister to schedule a viewing. I got a very cordial email, telling me rent, pet policies, move out policies, etc., and then a request to complete a background check before the viewing with a web link provided. Well, something told me to check out the website on Google. And it turned out these guys used this website by charging credit cards 100x what it says. It was crazy! I'm really glad I did so, though of course now I get spam about once a day from these seemingly random yahoo accounts trying to get information.

I'm getting some more race anxiety. After Umstead registration came and went, I thought at least that race was behind me. However, this weekend I was essentially told if I want in, I was in. It's just hard to think about really RACING and chasing a time goal or PR. And I am a little worried about how many quality miles I got in my legs AND in my mind.

With our pool closed, my swim cross training has switched over to spinning. I'm trying to find the sweet spot of not crushing my legs, but still get a good aerobic workout.

So yeah, I also really confused about job stuff, and where I'll be. So I may be at home for a few weeks. I really really NEED to make it just a few weeks.

Soundtrack:
"Camisado" by Panic! At the Disco
"We Are" by The Kids in the Way

Weekday Update

Introspective time: I'm noticing I have what I'll call a feedback paradox/conundrum. There lots of aspects of my life where I want to receive feedback. Not just criticism, but just acknowledgement of something I've said or done (as opposed to just black stares). I'm not really talking about serious things; I mean, I could just be shooting the breeze about something that's happened over the weekend, blah blah blah. Like I said, just a basic need to get some type of reaction I guess.

But the thing is a lot of times I feel really jaded/cynical about the responses. Such as if I talk about something positive, and the listener says "that's awesome!" I just instinctively think "it's not that awesome. You're just saying that because you want to pretend to care when you really could care less how much I ran/read/ate (whatever)." Or if after something bad happens, and I feel obligated to let friends or family know. I hate being asked "am I ok" partially because "I'm going to go all manic depressive," but also I think "you're asking because you want to know if the next few moments/days/whatever are going to be awkward self-pity times." I mean, should I really think people are all that fake?

Moving on....

A couple of good paced runs. Last week was a "quality week" and it rounded out Saturday with 25 miles ending at a tempo. Of course the tempo isn't actually all that fast. For me a tempo like this means I'm deliberately putting in the effort to move quickly; regardless of whether the pace is actually quicker. Lucky for me it was. And when I really wanted to push the effort, over the last 5 miles, I had some good help. Running through Umstead, I tagged behind a trio of runners (one with a dog) that were keeping a really good pace, which always helps. And then to polish off the last few miles on singletrack, I attempted to catch, match, and outpace some NC State women cross country runners. Good motivation there.

Wednesdays are usually a deliberate effort run as well (Monday is recovery, Tuesday trail work, Friday whatever). This one was pretty good. Being a recovery week, but 8 miles, at just sub-7:00 mile. Not to shabby.  I've also been switching out my mid-day treadmill hill climbing routine with a Tabata class. This is essentially high intensity training in a group exercise setting. It's not so running/race specific, but with a varying routine, and the high intensity, I think it's been a fun cross training session.

I've been getting a little dog crazy. As I wrote my brother: "1)I think I'm just feeling needy. 2) [my] mom mentioned Lida's dog predicament. 3) some one on the trails running with a dog off-handedly said I should get one to run with.

Reasons I have this unreasonable urge to have a dog."

Problem is I have nowhere to keep one. And I have no good plan for training, feeding, maintaining/exercising. I mean, my plants only started growing after I started ignoring them... A lot of those "breed matcher" sites are pairing me with little toy dogs.... I can't say I'm completely opposed, but I also feel tempted to have a DOG dog.

Soundtrack:
"Roar" by Katy Perry; yeah I know, shut up
"Listening to Freddie Mercury" by Emery

Lost

New shoes. Long run. Job confusion. PT book. Lost.


It's been a weird few days. Things at the J are winding down a lot and we really only had a two day work week. I'm feeling lazy and without direction. I've been doing a lot of reading and trying to tell myself that's being "productive," but I feel like I'm just kidding myself. I want to do things, but I don't want to do things that cost money. Besides reading and running, I'm fresh out of hobbies. Oh, and I don't want to include watching Netflix.

I don't like not feeling like I have a purpose. I don't like feeling that my purpose is not "purposeful." I can't help but feel like the things I enjoy doing are simple and monotonous. Brainless. I crave work, but I am terrified of duty and responsibility. I feel selfish in my work ethic and my running. Maybe I feel like my only claim is that I'm stubbornly mechanistic with running and setting a schedule. If I'm not known for my "discipline" what else can I be known for?

I haven't heard back from the Alexander YMCA. I won't say I'm nervous, but I am frustrated. There's this whole musical chairs, ring-around-the-rosy going on that, while I understand the hard-and-fast process; I don't understand the reasoning.

I ended up purchasing new trail shoes. So much better. I finally go through all of the PT book. I took a practice exam. I knew more than I thought, but not as much as I want to. It's hard to say what the point of sticking with that.

I'm just scared that I'm getting to yet another crossroads point and I still haven't gotten directions.

The Umstead 100 registration opens tomorrow. I think I will pass on it, but I also think I will regret doing so until/unless another big race after MMTR.

Soundtrack:
"If I Die Young" The Band Perry
"Take me away" Lifehouse

Fall FAll FALl FALL

It's Wednesday and it's hot again. When I planned on writing this post, I was all about the wonderful fall-ish weather we had earlier this week. Particularly the FIFTY-SEVEN  degrees Monday morning. It was glorious. I was so psyched about dropping temperatures. I was so demoralized when today it returned to 70s starting out.

Why was I getting so excited? Fall is my favorite time of year. There's just something incredible about it. Those cooling temperatures put a certain brisk-ness, crispness in the air. Everything seems so full of potential. The fall is punctuated by late September and all on October. The milder weather is really just a reminder of the time. I get excited about things I don't even really participate in: college football (which I don't follow), new year of college, Halloween, pumpkins, the NC State Fair, camping. AHHHHHH!! I just can't wait.

My shoelace problem continues to bother me. More so because I can't determine if I actually fixed the problem. I had run 30 miles with them digging into my foot which left a mild bruise. So now I can't tell if the shoe is still digging in, or if it's just pressure of the bruise. With these shoes I've also noticed I'm working my calves more, which if I'm doing more forefoot running, would make sense. I'm not sure if the zero-drop shoes are great right now for long distances; I'm doing good for the first several miles, but eventually I end up just slapping my feet. Not a good things.

The registration for the Umstead 100 opens up this weekend. I have a vague eagerness to give it another go. They claim competitive runners as those trying for sub 17:00. Having run 17:28, it's an enticing challenge. However, two other situations are in my sights: doing the Beast Series (3 springtime 50ks, then 100 M, 50 M, 100K autumn); or a new inaugural 100 M in the spring in Chattanooga. The ThunderRock 100M in Chattanooga would just be neat because it's an inaugural race. For both Umstead and the Beast Series, I mellow over how many more years I could have quality races in either style of racing (for Umstead: racing less but higher quality; for the Beast: racing more frequently).

My diet has been OK. The first day with yogurt had no problems. Yesterday I had some again, and I felt a little off, but I'm not sure if that was exclusive to the yogurt. So far, I've had eggs, yogurt, chicken, smoked trout, and smoked salmon. If you've never had a smoked fish you should. It's like the bacon of seafood. That's the best way to describe how awesome it is. Yum.

Soundtrack:
"You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi
"Hungry Like the Wolf" by Duran Duran

To the Sound of a heartbeat pounding away

Job interview, shoe pain, shoe fix, back to meat, long runs, lunch with family, slow week.

This week I had an interview for a YMCA aquatics position in Raleigh. It went fairly well, though I am well-acquainted with one of the interviewers and that made it go very smoothly. Interesting thing happened. Afterwards I stalled going back to work in Durham, instead stopping by the Cary YMCA. And I learned about some enticing job opportunities there. The downside? It's only 29 hours, part-time. However, if I wanted to pursue EMT as a second job, that part-time aspect may actually be a plus. It still makes me a little worried about job security, but really, I'd rather be doing something I enjoy than be safe in a bad job.

My latest trail shoe has been the Altra Superior. It's a slightly slimmed down version of their Lone Peak trail shoe. This company specifically makes zero-drop shoes and this was my first venture into this arena, and also my first with this brand of shoe. I haven't noticed any problems with the heel drop, but for some reason the laces on the left shoe were pinching/digging in to my foot like it was no tomorrow. No matter how loose I made that crossing, it'd always tightening down and hurt like crazy. Despite only being about 2 weeks old, I was seriously considering getting a new shoe; maybe specially ordering the Brooks PureGrit2 if need be.

THANK GOODNESS, I identified the problem. You'd never realize what a difference looping OVER rather than UNDER can make. It took a while to finally spot the difference [from the right shoe], but it came as such a relief. Though, I didn't notice until after my run this morning, so I haven't been out to verify that it's truly fixed, but I am hopeful.

Other than that pain, my long run this morning went pretty well. At 66F, temps at the start felt ok, but I felt like I worked up a sweat way too quickly. In the second half of my run, I can't explain it, but there was an oddly "fall-ish" feeling, and even though the temperature felt the same, I also felt cooler. On a different aspect of my run, I decided to scrap my original planned route after about 2 hours. My original course would have taken me over Turkey Creek and the Sycamore trail. I ditched that in favor of some uncharted miles along the 286 trail. They keep forging a lot of new trail, which I guess is good, but it gives it too much of a confusing labyrinth feel.

Earlier this week I tripped and had an great recovery in that I did so without even breaking stride. That luck came around today, where I probably stumbled 4-6 times, with 2-3 hard crashes. Ouch.

This week I started eating meat again. I've eggs for breakfast a couple of times, and some chicken for dinner once. So far nothing painful, or performance-altering. Though there are some... digestive changes; I expected these. I may give some yogurt a try tomorrow and see how dairy works.

I had lunch with parents and brother this afternoon. It was nice. I wish I could say I love spending a lot of time with my family. I love getting together at Christmas and Thanksgiving, going to Scotland, our camping trip. But sometimes it's best in small bouts. And this afternoon was a perfect bout of being able to catch up.

I will say though... the past few weeks, I have noticed my brother and I talk a lot more. Not in person or over the phone, but we email more often about little things going on day-to-day.

It's says slow week above... that also means boring... sorry.

Soundtrack:
"You Know My Name" by Chris Cornell, theme to Casino Royale as I finish up my 007 series
"The Day the World Went Away" by Nine Inch Nails, it line with movies, this was in the trailer for Terminator: Salvation

Faux Fall

I'm sitting at work. I have about 45 min until I have to teach a make-up swim lesson. The weather is overcast, kind of cold. I'm seriously hoping that no one shows up.

This recovery week has been much needed. I've been flirting with plantar fasciitis. The combination of less mileage and yesterday's day off was much needed. Today's weather was fantastic. At 60F the temperature was amazing. It gave me a tantalizing taste of fall, which is by far the best best best best time of the year. Even some road work had some hay laid out, and it reminded me of pumpkin patches. Ah... October...

Continuing on Saturday morning...

A great run this morning; 15 miles on single track at Umstead. Though it's a lower mileage, I initially try to temper my pace. However, I could tell after a mile or so that I was churning pretty good. However, it felt so smooth and fluid, I decided to run with it (no pun intended). Besides some crazy hunger, the effort continued to feel steady and strong. Only the last mile might have felt a hair sluggish.

I can't say how much I attribute it to the weather. A few details: Generally for 70+ I'm in a singlet. For high 60s it's sleeveless. Lower just a short sleeve shirt, so on and so forth. At lower 60s, it was definitely a SS shirt morning. But I couldn't ever tell if I was hot or cold. I seemed to sweat a good deal, but I never felt hot, particularly once I was well soaked (then I felt a little chilled). Of course, I judge a lot by how my hands feel, and even though 64 isn't anywhere near cold, I can feel it in my hands.

So pretty soon, I think the veganism may end. I still plan to abide by the core principles that made me pick up that diet: unprocessed foods with minimal additives. From my initial re-investigation, I concede that some of the evidence against a meat-eating diet may be more linked to the industrialization of the animal farming process. Also, from my own conclusions (which granted, I don't have explicit references to this), I think the evolution of our diet away from the ancestral ways is simply progress. I don't believe it was done with any specific malicious intent, and like any change, there are pros and cons; an ever leveling balance to life.

My current concern is how and when to start adding some food groups back in. I'm actually less concerned about meat and eggs. I'm a little scared about dairy products, because while no studies have been done (so no conclusions for/against), there's reason to believe metabolic process and gastric probiotics are lacking that were used to processing dairy. Many people have reported stomach issues, not just with milk and the ability to digest lactose, but even with cheeses or yogurts that should have minimal lactose, suggesting that it may be other compounds in the dairy products.

I'm trying to find some new music. I can't really describe what it is. Something soothing. Piano-y. The best way I can describe it is Adele's Skyfall. Music databases put that under "soul/R&B" but that also includes things like funk and disco, which is NOT what I'm looking for.

Definitely sad to see this chill weather heading out. Hopefully truly autumn weather won't be too far behind.

Soundtrack:
"Coming Back to Life" by Blindside: this line "This black crow is becoming a white dove"
"Skyfall" by Adele AND "You Know My Name" by Chris Cornell. I'm on a sort of 007 movie marathon.