Future Freak-out

I've freaking out a little bit about my future. It's not that my work environment is terrible. It's just that I realize the type/level of work I'm doing is not for me. I'm not a high-level decision maker, where you need to predict long-range resources and budgeting. I'm a day-to-day doer, where the decisions are made based on the immediately available and perceivable data. It's not the best analogy, but I feel like someone who works best making decisions within specific confines. With free range, there's a cyclic problem: how many programs to offer depends on how much staff you have; how much staff depends on how many programs you offer. I would rather just be given a set of parameters within which to work, and then engineering the best solution. I don't what this would mean in terms of the level of MENTAL engagement. That is, even though I want to be stimulated, sometimes I feel like I do better in physically-demanding vs. mentally-demanding environment.

Furthermore, I'm becoming more aware of the type of work I like to do. When it comes to "day-to-day," in aquatics that's more of the operations of pool maintenance, lifeguard safety, etc. However, after leading some of our swim practices, I realized how much I enjoy coaching. I kind of like teaching, but I like the idea of coaching. In sports, you realize it is a never-ending process of improvement; you're never perfect; you're always looking for how to improve. I consider the LG courses I've taught. I loved teaching, but I hated at the end having to pass or fail a student. If they didn't get it right, I would rather have just continued to work with them until they DID get it. I don't know if a sports (such as swimming/running) is exactly what I'm after, where performance is the goal. I've recently learned about health coaches, and I'd like to investigate what it means to work with people to improve their lives with practical solutions. I suppose my concerns are to how to approach it in a manner to make a meaningful career. And I also feel like I've spent so much time to get to where I am in aquatics; should I really be reconsidering everything so soon?

Bright side: This morning was again a wicked awesome trail run. I was thoroughly without a plan. There was mud and inevitable puddle runs. I also was about a foot ahead of losing my head to a 2-3 inch thick branch.I heard it coming down and pick up my pace; it was BARELY enough to get by. Overall the run was great because you can get quite a thrill bombing downhill and tearing it uphill while nitpicking over the single track.

Iron Man 3 was awesome.

Soundtrack for the post:
"Big Casino" by Jimmy Eat World
"Wonderful" by Everclear