Sorry about the infrequent updates. BIG decision made recently. Here is a copy-and-paste of an email to my family:
Hey guys. This is something I've told to Mom and Dad, and David.
Rather than go through the whole, complete explanation several more
times, I'm just settling for an email.
I've decided to take a leave of absence from graduate school. There
are several reasons surrounding and leading up to this decision.
Most importantly, I have never been sure about what career field I
want to pursue. Chemistry seemed right because it was an area in which
I've excelled and thought I could offer a substantial contribution. At
Hopkins I went further into biochemistry because I thought it was the
best way to sort of work at the periphery of biomedical sciences
(pharmaceuticals, gene therapies, etc.). However, I've been at a lost
at specifically where I fit. That problem, I think, was foreshadowed
somewhat by my initial troubles picking a research group. My
predicament is a little more general though; I'm not sure if chemistry
is the right field for me. Or if it is, I'm not sure if research is
right for me.
I can see myself doing any number of things. In chemistry, I could do
research; at a basic technician level or get an advanced degree and
perform in a supervisory role. I could work for the Patent Office,
which would expose me to several different disciplines of chemistry
and science as a whole. There are other government jobs for chemist in
forensics, homeland security, defense agencies (or their contractors).
I know I wish people where as excited about science as I am, so
teaching has also crossed my mind. There are career fields outside of
chemistry; remember when I thought I wanted to go to OCS for the Coast
Guard? I think that was a interest in emergency response/management.
So I could see myself working for emergency management institutions
like FEMA, Corps of Engineers, Homeland Security/ Coast Guard, the Red
Cross, etc..
But how does this come back to my decision. Well, while in the lab, I
am often in the lab by 9:00am and don't leave until usually 8:00pm.
That's weekdays and frequently I am in the lab for 5 or 6 hours
between Saturday and Sunday as well. I'm not meaning to complain about
the work hours or the work load. It's totally worth it if it means
getting a Ph.D. However, without knowing what I want to do, how do I
know that I need a Ph.D.? Sure it's a Ph.D.; a BIG accomplishment. But
is it really that valuable if it isn't really a qualification for
whatever my career will be? I questioned how rationale it was to spend
50-60+ hours/week pursuing a goal that wasn't really the best goal for
me.
Over the next couple of days I will be cleaning up my work space in
the lab. I still have a little over a month left on my lease. So, I
will be staying in Baltimore for a little while and begin searching
for employment (I've been touching base with the university career
center). I'd like to stay put but if money forces me back home, then
that may be my only option. A lot of the areas I'll be looking at I
mentioned above. With the oil spill, there is the prospect of some
temporary active duty opportunities with the Coast Guard. In the long
term, I'm not sure whether I want to try to stay in the Mid-Atlantic
region, go somewhere new, or even return to NC. I'm also not
completely closing the door on additional or advanced education; more
may be necessary to give me the best chance of success in whatever
career turns out to be for me.
Sorry for the lengthy email and sudden decision.
Duran
You don't know me but I follow your blog only because I saw you at the Celtic 5 miler race and the columbia triatholon and thought you were a great athlete. I work for a company called Becton Dickinson as an Analytical Chemist and just thought you should know that there are a few positions not sure if they would fit you or not but its just a thought that you might want to look into. I wish you luck and I hope you keep racing because you are very good at it.
ReplyDeleteHey Duran,
ReplyDeleteSome people's whole lives are laid out before them and they get to inhabit this world without ever having to make any really tough decisions. Either someone else is making their decisions for them or, they just go along with the program and things turn out alright. Other people, unfortunately, come from bad environments and never can escape from being a product of such. And then there are those of us who take the road less traveled...
Success may be measured in diplomas, degrees & doctorates, but happiness isn't. Those pieces of paper usually bring happiness for a day or a week and they can open many doors for you. But often the doors that they open only welcome you to more of the same mundane existence that you just graduated from.
After reading your blog, I am happy to see that you have taken the steps that you have. I would hate to see you devote all of that time and effort towards something solely to obtain a PhD. I've had the chance to work with PhDs in the past. They were in the cublice right next to mine, doing the same thing that I was doing. Sure, they were making more money than me but my goodness were they grumpy! I was as happy as I could be! I was making good money and could say that I worked with a bunch of PhDs! =)
My old boss' education:
University of California, Berkeley
Postdoctoral Fellow , Materials Science and Engineering , 1997 — 1999
Queen's University
Ph.D. , Physics, Engineering, Chemistry , 1991 — 1997
Trent University
B.Sc. (Honours) , Chemistry, Physics, Math
The day I got laid off (back in 2001) guess who was walking out of the Human Resources office with his pink slip when I was walking in to get mine?
On that day, someone else got to make a decision for me that completely shattered the security that I thought that I had in my life. Their decision protected their employment and let them continue on their career path while I was having to figure out what I was going to have to do in order to meet my financial obligations and to survive. I thought that I knew what I 'wanted' to do and I searched and searched for jobs in my field but my field had crumbled with the dot-com bust of 2001. Then I started looking for jobs that I 'could' do and finally jobs that I would 'have to' do. I finally got on with a stable company doing a job that I 'had' to do so we wouldn't starve. I can tell you that it was not doing what I 'wanted' to do and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But I had to do it. I hated it. After 11 years of forward progress in my career I felt that I had ended up lower than where I began when I was bagging groceries when I was 16. But it was a stable company and as long as I showed up for work, I had a job. I looked for other positions in the company that better aligned with where I thought I should be. I even went on several interviews but got shot down again and again. Then, one day, I had the chance to see the skills performed by another department. I thought it looked interesting so I did some research. I found out that THAT department will ALWAYS have a job. I was also surprised that THAT department got paid VERY well. But I had no experience and it wasn't a department where you could BS your way in and no degree or diploma would get you in the door. You had to have experience and cajones. Well, I had one but not the other. So I requested the 12-9 shift at Satan's Lair (which no one else wanted) and I made contacts in the department that I was interested in. And I got it arranged that I would work with them from 7am-11am before I had to be back at my cubicle. I did this for about six months. ON MY OWN TIME. During this whole time, I finally discovered what it was that I 'wanted' to do. It was doing something different. Something noble. Something daring! I finally got to have an interview and the Hiring Manager was from the department that I had been working in and knew what I had been doing. I left my interview and drove back to cubicle-world and didn't even get to sit down before my boss came up to me and told me that I'd gotten the job... That was almost 5 years ago. I've since doubled my salary, I get to travel the country, work outdoors (not that fun these days), drive the kinds of trucks that we used to dream about when we were boys, and there will NEVER EVER EVER EVER be a time in the future of humanity that my job will be outsourced, performed by robots, or unneeded. EVER. If that time comes, I can assure you that the end of humanity is upon us.
ReplyDeleteI was a slacker in school. I slept-in the day that was supposed to have my interview with the Navy recruiter. I never finished college.
ReplyDeleteBut did I mention that I LOVE MY JOB?
I just say all of this to say you still have a world of opportunity ahead of you.
You are blessed by having had a chance to travel down one road,
come back to the fork and, for a time, straddle the fence.
I hope that make the most of this time in your life
because I know that you will find a way to make a life-changing difference!
Sorry - got carried away there with the poetry...
I didn't plan on writing a book on your blog. Just thought it would be better than "hang in there."
Anyway, we got an extra bedroom if you ever need to get out in the country. There are plenty of roads out here in Franklin County...
God Bless,
Cousin Richard